Pauses that aren't there

 

The notion that things remain unchanged

For a time, before they turn

Oak trees breathing heavily in Heaton park

Kids roaming free till late on weekends

The line of houses across the street

Your skin, plump and unblemished

The birds and the bees

Appetite, zest, strength

The notion that things remain unchanged 

In a singular state, a finite amount of time,

The uniqueness of that singularity and how time absorbs it

How time owns it

What holds this second? How long till the next shift?

There's certainty in this feeling, a breathing space

A source of comfort for mothers that despair and love all at once

For people that nurse their sick

They wait by bedsides seeking change

Knowing time runs a tight ship and gives no warning

The notion that things remain unchanged

And are singular and finite

How can we sustain it? I tell myself 

You're young and healthy, your parents are young and healthy

Your child is young and healthy

Life lies ahead like a clear path lined up with tall trees

Bursting with wonderfulness, colour, opportunities

Just like 30 years go I was fifteen, dating an army cadet

Among friends whose faces I've forgotten

In the company of relatives that have long since left

30 years ago, yesterday, half an hour ago

The notion that things remain unchanged for a time

Singular, finite

When you're constantly shuffling, turning, shedding, growing, shrinking

Yet all the while, holding on to the hour where you're one with your thoughts

The pervasiveness of time passing

And our delusion blatantly real

How dare we imagine pauses that aren't there

31-05-2018